In 2007 Wade and I had our first beautiful and healthy baby girl, McKenzie Lynn. We were so excited and we couldn't wait to add another precious child to our family. I had a very easy pregnancy with McKenzie until delivery when I separated my pelvis. I left the hospital with a walker but after several weeks of physical therapy, I recovered great. A couple years later, Wade and I decided we wanted to have another child and I found out I was pregnant fairly quickly. When I was 6 weeks pregnant, I started spotting in the middle of the night. I called my doctor and she told me to lay down and rest and see if it stops. Well, it didn't and the bleeding started to get pretty heavy and when I called the doctor she said I was having a miscarriage. I was super sad but didn't feel defeated and tried to just keep telling myself it is all in God's timing. We knew as soon as we had the green light from our doctor we wanted to start trying again. A few months later we found out we were pregnant again. We were so excited and couldn’t wait to bring another child into our family. We went in for our first doctor's appointment at 8 weeks and we heard the heart beat and everything seemed great. She wanted me to make an appointment for an early ultra sound since I had already lost one baby early on. At 10 weeks we went in for our ultra sound with our now 3-year-old little girl and there was no heartbeat. We were devastated. I had so many different emotions going through me from sad, to mad, to why us? The doctor told me to go home and give it a few days to see if I could pass the baby on my own. After a LONG weekend nothing happened so they scheduled me for a D&C. The next day I went in for the D&C. I felt relieved that it was over but extremely sad and upset all at the same time. We leaned on each other and held our little girl just a little bit tighter and felt blessed to have one beautiful healthy child. We knew as soon as we could, we wanted to start trying again. After a few months we found out we were pregnant with our precious baby boy who was born in June 2011. We could not have been happier! We cried with emotion when we went in for our ultra sound at 20 weeks and heard the heartbeat and the nurse told us everything looked great! We brought McKenzie back into the room to show her she was going to be a big sister and let her see her first glimpse of her baby brother! We knew that if everything went well, our family was going to be complete as we were not planning to have more children due to separating my pelvis for the second time. I loved being pregnant and cherished every moment of it. I did end up separating my pelvis again half way through my pregnancy but was able to almost keep him in full term. He was born via c-section just 3 weeks early and was a healthy baby boy. Despite loving being pregnant throughout my pregnancy I was anxious the entire time. I was nervous every time I went in for an ultra sound or went to the doctor. I was even nervous when I went to the bathroom for being fearful of seeing spotting. With God's grace I tried to savor every minute and feel so blessed to have a beautiful 4-year-old and a baby boy on the way. McKenzie is 11 now and Roman is 7. Through the love of family, friends and God we were able to get through each loss. We feel the four-year gap between our children could not be better even though during the losses we were so sad and at times felt hopeless. We had a dream of having our kids two years apart and that did not happen. As we look back, we realized God always has a plan and it is never in our timing! I feel that through the losses it has not only brought our family closer but has also made it so I feel I can help support others when they are experiencing a loss of a child. My advice to other families going through this is to lean on one another for support, allow yourself to grieve and know you are NOT alone. Don't give up hope and know you are LOVED!!! Hugs!
