Caring For Each Other

Losing a baby during pregnancy can be one of the most difficult experience for couples to go through. An experience this heartbreaking can either tear you apart or strengthen you. Work to find strength independently and together. Men and women often grieve differently and that is ok. Be patient with each other. Leaning on each other in this time of heartache and trial can help you feel comfort, peace and strength. It may not be easy, but with patience, humility and compassion for the other’s feelings this journey can ultimately bring you together and make your relationship stronger.

Love and Support Each Other

Talk to each other and be willing to listen.

“After losing my baby, I felt emotionally drained. It was really hard at first. But, talking about it with friends and family helped. I felt worse when I kept things to myself. I remember almost every night for a couple months, when I would get in bed, I cried to my husband. He would hold me and we would talk, and that helped a lot. We prayed for comfort together and that helped us get through it. I learned that I cry a lot more than my husband, and that’s ok. I like to express myself and talk a lot, and I would get really emotional and my husband mourns more quietly. I really needed him to listen, and he did. A listening ear was very helpful. I feel like our loss brought us closer together.”

Sharon Stewart

Let each other cry.

“My husband and I spent a lot of time spontaneously bursting into tears daily for the first month or so after our daughter was born still. Just letting each other cry and not trying to cheer each other up was important. Let your spouse go through whatever emotion they are feeling and just be there to listen and to hold them. Every person grieves differently and just because someone isn’t acting the way you would, doesn’t mean they aren’t hurting just as much as you.”

Donelle Fuhrman

Find healing together.

“I definitely feel that our miscarriage journey brought us closer together. When one of us was having a harder time, the other would compensate for that pain by caring for the one hurting “the most” that day. My husband never left my side while I was healing after the physical loss (the d&c procedure) and to this day- I’m still so, SO grateful for that. Being there for eachother helped us heal TOGETHER (and separately as well!)”

Shelby Blanton

Lean on each other.

“Above all we were just there for each other. We held each other, allowed each other to grieve and cry and speak or be silent as the different stages of grief hit. We leaned on each other like we had never had to before and in many ways it drew us closer together because we just totally leaned on each other. LeGrand was my go between for a couple of weeks before I could really talk to friends or extended family and I love that he did that for me without judgement because that’s what I needed.”

Alicia Johnson

Focus on your blessings.

“We had a young daughter at the time so we focused on her after both miscarriages. It was discouraging and emotional but we poured our negative into our family. We took a mini vacation to the beach and loved on one another, so thankful we had a beautiful healthy little girl! I tried to be more sensitive to my wife and show her some extra love and support.”-

Wade and Jocelyn Jackson

Give each other space.

“My husband tried to help me heal by giving me space, and helped to reassure me through encouraging words. We also took time to let my body heal before we started thinking about trying to have kids again. This was important.”

Shauna Brown

Be patient and humble.

“Having recurrent miscarriages was really, really hard. The sorrow for the loss of our children was so taxing on our marriage at first. I sobbed, my husband sobbed, our older children sobbed. I wanted to talk about it, but my husband didn’t. He needed more time to process all the emotions individually first. I learned that I didn’t need to understand why he wasn’t ready to talk and that I just needed to be patient with him and the way he grieved and give him time. My love for him grew in that period of waiting. With time, we had great discussions, held each other long and often in tears and fought for the courage together to try to get pregnant again after having so many losses. With patience and humility in navigating our emotions and grief, our love grew tighter and stronger. Those experiences will forever knit us together.”

Daisha and Cole Johnson

Take time to support, love and connect with each other. You can be each other’s greatest strength.

CARRIED THROUGH CONNECTION